Thoughts on Dresses & Loving Yourself
Vulnerability time, friends. I'm not one for feelings, so if you aren't either I get that - feel free to keep scrolling. No hard feelings here!
But, I'm also not one for comfort zones - so I'm all about stepping out of mine and sharing my thoughts/experiences in hopes of helping even 1 person feel less alone.
Yesterday I wore a dress. I've always struggled with dresses (and for a lot of reasons.)
I'm not the most feminine.
Two - Seven
I struggle with my body. I know, I know - I'm skinny. What could I possibly have to complain about? My entire life I've heard how "small" or "tiny" or "skinny" I am, and yes, I'm a petite person with a genetically skinny frame. I've never been larger than a size 7 and at my smallest I was a 00. Right now I'm at a healthy size 0 and am learning to love my body the way it is. One of the common misconceptions is that if a person is small, they're skinny. Or if they're skinny, they're fit. Well friends, I am both small and skinny, but I am far from fit and I struggle with so many parts of my body. I have a pouch that (because of my autoimmune diseases) I can't exercise enough to get rid of, I am the shape of a rectangle - I literally have zero curves - and most clothes just hang on me, I have broad shoulders, my medicines give me major adult acne, I have A FREAKING MUSTACHE, and the list could go on. Seriously.
In the past, I've avoided dresses because most don't look right on me.
Well, 2019 has been all about me. I've been focusing on myself, my mental health, and my happiness more than I ever have. I'm putting myself and my feelings first, which if you know me, goes against everything my brain instinctively tells me. It’s my personality type - I love taking care of others. But I've come to realize a few things over my journey this year:
I can't take care of others unless I take care of myself.
The people that matter in my life love me whether I'm a lumpy size 2, a svelte size 20, or anything in between. That number is just a number, completely meaningless.
My smile is the most important part of my body. And I've got a pretty nice one. (Thanks to the two sets of braces, retainers, and headgear!)
I've got a guy that tells me I'm pretty whether I've just rolled out of bed, am all done up, or have been laying in a hospital gown for a week. And that's serious love.
The way my body functions is 100x more important than the way it looks.
Basically, I'm growing. and I'm REALLYYYYY proud of myself for that. I'm learning that I don't have to have my own version of a perfect body to wear the clothes I want, and that most people don't even see the things that I am so self conscious about, and that the energy I spend worrying about these things could be put to such better use laughing and having fun. Life is too short, and trust me, I know it's easier said than done. But, remember to show yourself grace - we are all struggling with things and that's okay. It's also okay to tell those things to come back another day because you're going to wear that dress today, or that bathing suit, or that pair of pants, or that low cut top that "looks cuter on other body shapes than it does on yours." Even if, like me, your body is fighting against you 24/7, that's not an excuse to hate it. You only get one, and loving it (or at least liking it) is going to get you a heck of a lot further than hating it.
I hope this also serves as a reminder to show others grace - just because a person is "skinny" doesn't mean they aren't self-conscious or don't get bullied for it (yes, I've been bullied many many times for being skinny), etc.
Anywho, I wore a dress yesterday and I loved it! And I apparently have a lot of feelings about it.
I'll leave you with this: Do you. Love you. Love others. Be Kind, Always.
Happy Saturday, friends!